I haven’t written about my emotions in a while, yet it’s therapeutic, so when I was asked to write this post either about feeling glamorous or overwhelmed for Bernadette Pleasant’s #EmotionInMotion Blog Tour along with other emotional and expressive women bloggers, I thought it would be a good idea. I am an empathic, compassionate, sensitive, highly intuitive and emotional Moon Child who knows a lot about feeling overwhelmed.
The picture you see above would be me, of course. I don’t remember much about that day, but I was about 9, it was Easter, and I was definitely overwhelmed by frustration about something. In that moment, I’m pretty sure that whatever it was that was bothering me was petty. I vaguely recall my mother telling me that I couldn’t do or have something and so, I made that face in an attempt to wish her into the cornfield. She sometimes took photos of me making that face in an effort to get me to stop. I still make that face today because I’m hard-headed, and I still get really overwhelmed by my emotions, and especially adulthood, but at least I now look at that photo and chuckle.
If I could go back in time and send that little girl a message based on what I know now, I’d tell her how much more disappointment she’d face and how much stronger she’d become because of it. I’d warn her about the anxiety and depression that she would be so easily overwhelmed by. I’d urge her to focus on things that feed her soul, especially when she’s feeling swamped by the weight of everything, and although this is cliche, I’d encourage her to not sweat the small stuff.
The grown woman that that little girl has become is still an empathic, compassionate, sensitive, highly intuitive and emotional Moon Child but it’s only now, several years later, that she is learning how to cope.
I work in media, a high pressure field that in the height of my depression in 2013, I had to take a break from because it made me want to either lash out or die, sometimes both at the same time. I was so overwhelmed by my desire to feel better and be better that I got stuck and very sick. I made no progress creatively or mentally and while I haven’t been literally suicidal, I’ve come close metaphorically. I have questioned whether I wanted to continue living. I found myself weighing the pros and cons of whether it would be worth it to get out of bed. I beat myself up about my career not going the way I had planned, or hoped. I wondered why a lot of the people I had encountered in my field were so shitty. I had grown accustomed to a culture of staff getting cursed out in meetings or being berated for looks, weight, not having enough Twitter followers and other arbitrary, trite things. I wondered why people in general were so crappy toward each other. It was a stifling phase I was in.
Eventually, tired of being deluged by so many negative feelings and tired of not wanting to participate in my life, I got therapy. I also started consistently pursuing hobbies that speak to my soul, like dance, and pole dance, being active in general, and writing for myself, not some magazine and not an audience. I’ve learned how to say no, how to prioritize, how to eliminate toxic people and environments from my life, how to stop beating myself up and how to get over being overwhelmed to the point where I’m not making progress, and I’m starting to feel better, one day at a time.
Emotions can be transformative as long as you allow yourself to feel, identify and understand. If you’re ready to further explore those feelings through movement, then keep reading to find out more about Bernadette Pleasant’s #EmotioninMotion tour.
Bernadette Pleasant, the creator of Emotion in Motion has developed a safe and sacred day-long journey that engages the mind, body and soul. Weaving together the use of music, percussions, meditation, and hands-on healing. Her January 4th workshop will create an impactful, life-changing experience for each participant! You can purchase tickets here or participate in her latest giveaway.
To enter the giveaway go to her website and leave a comment answering the following question, “When someone says you’re emotional, what does that mean to you?”
