Unfortunately, the internet is literally the wild wild west…and high school, or even, the Derek Zoolander School for Kids Who Can’t Read Good and Want to Do Other Stuff Good Too . People steal other people’s photos and create memes to spread fake news (that people unfortunately believe), illustrate stupid points, to be funny, or all of the above.
I’m not going to lie, I have posted memes, and have definitely laughed at many, but I do it in jest if the point being made is harmless or silly, never at someone else’s expense. Sadly, a lot of people don’t use that type of discretion. In the name of taking things too far, or trying to be funny, or to get clicks and followers, they post dumb shit like what you see above.
The person who posted it is a “comedian.” Based on browsing his social media for all of 5 seconds, I assure you he’s not funny, and is frustratingly getting the attention from this that he intended, so I’m not sharing his name. I don’t usually read comments because I don’t like being reminded how many children have been left behind, but I did this time because I knew a meme like this would attract all the fuckboys who have dumbass philosophies on life and love. I intended to laugh, but like,no. How can you when people are dead serious about this harmful way of thinking?
In fuckboy world (also known as Ashies or the Basement Boy Collective), “How to Get a Man 101” means that women are to treat men who ain’t shit like the king he is not by putting him on pedestal, fixing his plate, having amazing sex aimed at solely pleasing him, turn a blind eye to his cheating, and of course, being able to cook. Because, yes, ladies, these skills are how you get and keep a man–communication be damned, just be cute and stfu, and your relationship will be fine. It don’t matter that he ain’t shit because he’s a man, and you should be happy that someone with a penis is interested in you at all because that’s what your life is all about. Do your duty as a real woman so that you don’t become single and bitter like all these pole dancing hoes out here who can’t cook.
Okay, obviously I’m being facetious. But like, the sheer stupidity of this school of thought, and memes like this are in abundance, and it boils my blood. What this is, is a misogynist who saw women, especially black women (don’t think the subtle shade with the women in the cooking class on the bottom being white went unnoticed), being happy and deciding to TRY to shit on it. Meanwhile, women who pole dance are all like:
Lots of things happening here. @iambangalee’s ‘Confidential’ is bumping in the background (good tune!), the lights are messing with my shot, I surprised myself by being able to pencil after my #ayesha, and at the end you can hear my ecstatic and surprised, “Holy crap!” Not pictured is the victory dance that followed. 😂😂😂. P.S. Come take beginner classes with me to learn how to fly 😛💪🏾🙌🏿. #poledancersofig #poledancersofinstagram #polefitness #girlswithmuscle #liftallthethings #bronxfitness
Working on this little shape from class last night @bodyandpole. A great move from @bendy_kate kate. Still cant quite figure it out, hence my confusion! 😁😁😂 An awesome class with so many of my fave peeps!! (Heeey @derickpierson!) Then creating and working on some new things with my @blackgirlspole sisters, the super artistic @itsthecdb and dynamically drive @dalijah along with the beautiful @jessijamzzz . So sore, but so worth it. 2016 is gonna be crazy!! #blackgirlspole #polefitness #contortion #bendy #flexy #stronggirls #girlswithmuscles #pole #bipolerfitness #fit4pole #mybodyshop #healthymindhealthybody #healthyliving #polelove
A photo posted by Z Island (@zipporaislandl) on
When I posted this photo of @polepoised CEO @micathebodychemist on @aerialnation earlier today, street poling in Baltimore, I had no idea the people there were rioting because of the mistrial declared in the trial of an officer involved in the death of Freddie Gray. Let’s continue to pray for peace at home and around the world. #PrayForTheWorld #🙏🏾 #AllLivesMatter #PoleDanceNation #AerialNation #StreetPole #BlackGirlsPole #Baltimore #PrayForBaltimore
NYC’s most recent elevatED grads. This is what happened when we were told to be fierce 😂😁.
A photo posted by gangstarrgirl (@gangstarrgirl) on
We are amazing and confident and anyone who has an in depth conversation with a poler will walk away from that conversation understanding how much pole has actually changed lives (it has helped me overcome an eating disorder, for example, or has even given women the courage to leave abusive relationships, and much more). Men pole dance too, yes, but let’s focus on women for the sake of this asshat meme since it’s women being shamed.
I’ve met women who were doctors, scientists, teachers, and so much more who pole dance AND can cook, because the ability to cook isn’t taught in class (seriously, how many people do you know have actually taken a cooking class because they “needed to learn” how vs. it being a hobby?), and paying for pole classes vs. paying for cooking classes are two completely unrelated points, as if someone can’t do both.
Do you see how one dimensional these fuckboys are? They are literally cavemen. They are the men who when you ignore them when you’re walking down the street who probably follow you, curse you out, or tell you that “you’re ugly anyway,” aka, no one who is sane or has her self esteem in tact would want them. Sadly, some women who have been indoctrinated by patriarchy believe them. These are the women that keep these Basement Boy’s hopes and dreams alive so much that they think they’re kicking knowledge “or getting the conversations started” with backwards memes.
Meanwhile, women like us wouldn’t give them the time of day. That’s what this is about. “I see an woman who makes me feel even more insecure, so I have to make her feel small.”
Fuck off, Mr. Fuckboy.
Those of us polers who are happily married know what grown, secure, mature and well-adjusted men are like. Speaking of grown and mature, “wifing” is very high school and college concept (#ByeFelipe), and anyone with half a brain understands that women don’t exist to cater to male entertainment and entitlement. Not everyone wants to be a wife, or in a relationship, and staying married is definitely about more than just cooking.
So take your fuckboy philosophies back to your mama’s basement. Ladies, iron x, shall we?
P.S. The top pic in the meme above is at La Femme Suite in Harlem. Check them out, or come take classes with me Tuesday nights at Sweet Water Dance and Yoga.